The truth shall set you free

So I feel the time has come in my life to just be open and let some things come out of me that I have held in for so very long. The reason I am doing this is because I feel that maybe it could help someone else who may be going through or has gone through something similar to what I have been through, and feel there is no hope. For a period of three years I was sexually molested by a family member. It was very difficult for me because I loved this person and was so confused because I was afraid of him too. He would do wonderful things for me and then take advantage of me when we were alone. I was 11 years old. I never knew why I didn't run away and scream. I would just lay there like I was dead and pretend it wasn't happening. I now know that many victims do this same thing. After a few years of enduring this horrible trial it came out into the open and we found out I wasn't the only victim by this person. We had a giant family meeting and this person promised he would stay away from the children and write letters of sorrow to them. I never received a letter and never heard that he was sorry. In fact from then on he never admitted he did anything to me. From time to time he would still say things of a sexual nature to me, and in my heart I knew he was a ticking bomb waiting to go off. For several reasons that I won't go into, it took me until I was 27 years old to finally do the right thing and report this family member to the authorities. For the past few months I have been tried more than I can almost bear in this court process. Everything that was done to me is all new again. It is hard for me to sleep and hard for me to be the girl I want to be. I am so grateful to my family who is standing behind me in support and love. You know who you are. I am so grateful to my co-workers that help out at work while I am in court. You know who you are. I finally feel a sense of control in this matter and know that God is here with me. It is time for this man to be put where he should be for what was done to his family. It is time for me to fully heal, knowing that the man who did these things to me is having to pay for what was done. I also pray for him to find time to seek for forgiveness before it is too late, he does not have many years of life left due to old age. I want to say that we just had a hearing on Monday and for the first time I heard the man who hurt me say that he was guilty of the crimes he was accused of. It felt so good to hear him say it out loud. I have waited so long to hear that. My heart leapt from my body. We just have one more hearing where he will be sentenced on March 9th. I can't wait for it to all be over. I will stand on that day and tell the judge how he impacted my life and plead for a sentence that fits the crime. I am terrified to do this. But it will be done. In closing of this crazy post, I just want to say it is never to late to do the right thing no matter how frightening. You can do anything you want to. God listens and answers prayers. And if you ever need anything I am a shoulder you can cry on. I will understand. I love you all so much. You are the glue that holds me together when I feel like falling into pieces. Without you I would not be the person I am today. I can't wait to live each day better than the last and look forward to life's challenges and rewards. I am so sorry it took me so long to do what needed to be done with the justice system. But I made it in the end.