So I am totally a lost soul trying to find answers.... I really am unsure what is true and what is not anymore. I am trying to find out what is real. I was raised a mormon and I do love the church. But I just am trying to see if it is what is in my heart at this time. Anyway enough about me... Brian was off work on Sunday so we took the kiddos to church. We hardly ever go, because Brian works most Sundays and I suck at controling the demons on my own. I feel I don't even get anything from it so why bother??? So we went this Sunday. It was nice. The people in the ward actually noticed me and my family. I even went to Relief Society... Yikes.... They were really sweet. And for the frist time in my life I enjoyed it. Sabrie was very good and let me listen. I met a couple of women who I could see being wonderful friends. Anyway before we went to go to class after Sacrament we went to go drop off little Ammy at nursery. Lo and behold little Ammy is a big boy now and no longer belongs in the nursery. He is a stinkin sunbeam!!! I can't believe my baby is in primary... He was sooo scared and didn't want me to leave him. So I sat on a tiny chair next to my baby who is now a big boy and we learned about how important Daddy's are. It was so cute and uncomfortable. He then felt brave enough to go on his own with Sister Moss to his class. And I let him go.... My heart worried that he would be ok... He was and next week he was invited to say the prayer, which he loves to do. So now I have to get him there to fulfill his duties. It is my responsibility to make sure he learns in everyway, no matter what I do or don't believe. So I am really going to make an effort to get my son to sister moss......Maybe God will still let me into heaven if I do this one thing for my kids... Even if I am not worthy in other ways.....One thing I am sooo excited for is the day when the primary kids sing in front of sacrament. I will probably cry my eyes out.
Monday, March 2, 2009
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5 comments:
Yeah for Sunbeams! I can see why people stay home when they have kids. Ava is a nightmare!!!!!!! Sometimes I feel like I don't get anything out of the lessons, but I do know that Heavenly Father recognizes our effort for going and for trying to do the right thing. Plus, Sabrie will be in nursery in a couple of months (Ava will too.... I'm counting down the days!!!!!!!!!!!!) But I wish Ammy the best of luck with his prayer.
You make me cry!!! You are such a sweet heart and so amazing... You have such an amazing personality and people need you in their lives... You make people laugh and cry and more then anything feel!!!! Motherhood is hard, but the most rewarding. One great advice that my dad gave me was to get involved!! Get involved with your community and your church. I have found that teaches your kids the most. Also, read the Book of Mormon!! You will have no questions about what is true. It's the best thing you can do for yourself and your little ones.. I love you Nicole... Ammon will do GREAT!!!! He has you as a mom!!!
Nicole,
You are a way cute mom! You are doing great! It is hard sometimes with the little stinks at church but worth it. Heavenly Father does answer prayers- don't give up. You have such a sweet special family!
Nicole, I echo Amber's words. READ the Book of Mormon. After sincerely reading and pondering it and then praying to see if it is true, you will find an inner power that you never knew you had and like Amber said, you will have no more questions. The cool thing about Heavenly Father is that we can ask Him through prayer if something is true and He will tell us and help us to understand--REALLY. He will tell us in our mind and in our heart and we will "feel" that it is right. I love you so much and Heavenly Father loves you even more!! I'm proud of you and LOVE YOU!!
Hey girl. I want you to know how special you are to me!! You are so beautiful inside and out. I know you've struggled with things in the church but know this. Your love for GOD is what matters most. After you've figured out that you don't have to be perfect and that he forgives and forgets and that you need to do the same for yourself, you will fill this freedom that you never had!!! After you figure out where you stand with yourself- Do read the striptures, maybe not the whole thing but go with it with a pure heart, you will see these answers you've been looking for your whole life!! Ammon and Sabes are SO lucky to have you as a mommy, they've been sent to this earth for a reason and maybe its to heal your little heart!! I hope these last few days have helped heal you a little and I hope you truly listened to the judges words. You are amazing and you need you realize that. The only one that can truly help you is YOU and you understanding just how special you are. I love you with all my heart. I think of you always!! Love you, Joce
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